Episode 61

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Published on:

19th Jun 2025

Why Self-Sacrifice Isn’t Love: A Real Talk on Boundaries

In this week's Saddle Up segment, Lesa shares key takeaways from Tuesday's Doing Divorce Different special episode. Despite being stood up by a guest for the first time on the podcast, the host reflects on her personal experiences, including her 34-year marriage and battle with stage one breast cancer, to discuss the importance of setting boundaries and reigniting passions from childhood. She emphasizes that self-sacrifice should not come at the cost of one's own well-being. The episode encourages listeners to take responsibility for their choices, set boundaries, and nurture self-love to better serve others.

00:00 Introduction and Recap of Tuesday's Episode

01:12 The Importance of Setting Boundaries

02:22 Personal Experiences and Lessons Learned

02:39 Reigniting Passions and Self-Care

03:47 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Transcript
Speaker:

Welcome to this week's Saddle up segment where I go over

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key takeaways from Tuesday's episode.

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And if you haven't listened to Tuesday's

episode, please go back and give it

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a listen because it was kind of a

special day for me where I actually,

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for the first time doing my podcast,

I've been stood up in real life, but

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I've never been stood up on my podcast

and I was, and I took a hot minute.

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To sit with myself quietly, and

I thought through the things that

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I had written down that I wanted

to speak to this guest about.

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Were all things that I could speak on,

and so it was, it was a fun episode

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and I took my own experiences through

my 34 year marriage through my dealing

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with the stage one breast cancer that

I had to go through a lot of treatment

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that that was a hard thing for me and

the things that I recently learned

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along the way, things that I wish.

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I would've known years ago, it

would've made my life so much.

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Well, it would've made me

suffer a little bit less.

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So I just wanna share that with you

because I know boundaries is a big word

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and I talk about it in that episode.

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And here is the thing I.

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They are simple in how we think

through them, but they're hard to do.

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It's really hard for me to set boundaries

with things like spending money on a kid.

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I want to like give them the

world, and it's really hard

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for me to draw a line there.

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It was really hard for me to draw

boundaries in my marriage on, and

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it, it's not, it's so interesting

how when you say yes to something

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that you don't really wanna do,

it's not the other person's fault.

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It's all your responsibility

and there's no shame in it, and

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there's no beating yourself up.

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But here's the thing, take responsibility.

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So in the future you can

make a different decision.

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You have the choice to say no, and yep.

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Sometimes that's uncomfortable.

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Sometimes someone might not like

you, but that's your choice.

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So it's not the person's

fault that you say yes to.

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So I have learned to hold my anger.

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Back on that person and

just work on myself.

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So boundaries are a bridge.

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They are not a wall, and they have helped

my relationships immensely in life.

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And then to also, another thing I talked

about is to reignite those passions.

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Think about what you love to do

as a kid, and you'll be surprised

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at how it may want you to go back.

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Do it again.

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In fact, I came up to my husband, he

put his hand on my forehead because I

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said, I wanna take the grandkids camping.

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And he was like, are you kidding me?

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Because you and camping did not mix.

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But you know what?

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There were parts of camping that did

mix and there are ways of camping.

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Yeah.

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I don't really like to go way

up in the boondocks in a canoe

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with no motor, no bathroom, no.

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None of that.

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But I don't mind going, um.

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In a nice camper with a

shower in a beautiful spot.

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So reignite those passions.

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We can figure out what we like.

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And here's the thing, friends,

self-sacrifice isn't love if it costs you.

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You self-sacrifice is

not love if it costs you.

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You, I know women, we all think

we have to sacrifice ourselves.

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That's not really the way to do

it, and that's what I've learned.

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Keep building yourself up, loving

yourself, setting your boundaries,

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and you will overflow with being able

to help and love and serve the world.

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Thanks so much for being here.

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About the Podcast

Saddle Up Live Podcast
Welcome to Saddle Up Live, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God’ s grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges. Join me, Lesa Koski, as I take you on a captivating ride through the multifaceted aspects of womanhood in this vibrant stage of life, covering everything from my journey through breast cancer, the intricacies of marriage and the joys of motherhood to the exciting adventures of grandparenting.

In each episode, we saddle up for candid conversations about God, health, relationships, family dynamics, and the beautiful chaos that comes along the way. But here's the twist: Saddle Up Live goes beyond navigating the highs and lows of life; it's a platform dedicated to sharing what we have learned along the way. I want to help women thrive through it all. Together, we'll uncover actionable strategies for personal and professional development, providing you with the tools and inspiration needed to blaze new trails and seize every opportunity that comes your way.

Moreover, we're committed to helping you suffer less and live more fully. Through our discussions on God, health, wellness, and mindfulness, we'll explore practical techniques for managing stress, cultivating resilience, and embracing a holistic approach to self-care.

So, whether you're looking for practical advice, heartfelt stories, or simply a supportive community of like-minded women, saddle up and join us on this exhilarating ride. Because at Saddle Up Live, we believe that every woman deserves to thrive, flourish, and live her best life - no matter her age or stage.


Bio: I am a wife, a mama, a grandma and an animal lover. I am blessed to be serving people from my barn office. I am obsessed with learning and communication. I love sharing what I learn with all of you! There is nothing more gratifying than holding people's hands through difficulties and sharing all the joy around us!
I am a recovering attorney who was mostly a stay at home mom; who adopted one and birthed two, ridden the bumpy marriage ride for 32 years. Found my passion at 50, learned how to control my mindset and anxiety and have built an amazing business in the last 6 years. I have journeyed through motherhood, weddings, grandbabies, entrepreneurship and menopause with grace, tears and laughter. I now I will share my story through breast cancer with you. I want to help women suffer less, know God loves them and they are worthy!! I am here to help you and I know all about what you’re going through.

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