Episode 59

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Published on:

6th May 2025

Self-Coaching for the Soul: How to Think, Feel, and Grow Through Life’s Hardest Moments

The episode features Lesa Koski and her coach, Tracy Pleschourt, discussing the transformative power of self-coaching, especially in times of adversity. Tracy introduces her 'Self-Made You' goal planner, designed to help individuals manage their time, emotions, and actions towards achieving their goals. The host shares her personal journey of overcoming a significant health scare, emphasizing the importance of feeling one's emotions and the value of self-coaching and spiritual faith. They underline the distinction between pain and suffering and stress the importance of investing in oneself to lead a more abundant life.

00:00 Introduction and Warm Welcome

00:20 Meet Tracy Plushcourt: Coach and Friend

01:28 The Goal Planner: A Tool for Success

04:15 Understanding Pain and Suffering

08:36 The Power of Self-Coaching

16:34 Seeking Professional Help

17:19 The Challenge of Self-Coaching

17:45 Personal Struggles and Rest

18:59 Rediscovering Passions and Dreams

19:11 The Role of Self-Coaching and Other Resources

20:30 Defining Self-Coaching

22:42 The Importance of Self-Coaching Skills

24:02 The Impact of Self-Coaching on Personal Growth

27:31 Practical Applications of Self-Coaching

32:58 The Journey of Becoming Self-Made

33:25 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Get your goal planner here!

DIY Parenting Plan Course

Find More From Lesa Here!

https://www.amazon.com/Goal-Planner-Journal-Step-Step/dp/B0DRDSHF5D/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_pdt_img_top?ie=UTF8&th=1

Transcript
Speaker:

Welcome listeners.

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I'm super excited to have you here today.

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I am wearing my whimsy sweatshirt

because I am like off the high of

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spending three days with Bob Goff,

and if you don't know who he is,

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look him up because he's amazing and.

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He's inspiring and he makes you

feel loved and it's super fun.

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And then I get to, I flew in last night

from San Diego and here I am sitting

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across my screen from me is my dear

friend, my coach Tracy Plush court.

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Tracy, you were here.

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I mean, you've been here

through it all, right?

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Yeah.

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Like you've been through me going

through a really hard thing.

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You've been here through fun things.

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Yeah.

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And you were here for the beginning.

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You were the one I threw on

this podcast when I was kind

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of going through hard things.

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And we talked a lot in those

episodes, which I just wanna

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touch on this, Tracy, so just.

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Listeners, welcome.

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Here's Tracy.

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If you need coaching, go to Self-Made You.

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We'll have her info,

info in the show notes.

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She also has this amazing

calendar, and if you go back to

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the beginning of Saddle Up Live.

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We talk about schedules and how

they're so important and they

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still, still are so important to me.

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And we may talk about that a

little bit later, but just throw

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in a little information about that

calendar book that you've got out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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So, uh, well, thank you for having me.

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It's yes back.

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Uh, uh.

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Since we last met, we launched

a goal planner that really holds

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your hand through the day in

and day out progress towards.

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The goals that are most important to you.

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So the book is just a very organized

way of, number one, deciding what

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it is that you want from your life.

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So we kind of reverse architect it

and we look at what area of your life

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are you least satisfied with and why.

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And then that really launches

us into setting some goals.

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And then we take those goals and we

dissect what we would have to do.

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From an action standpoint to

make progress towards those goals

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over the course of three months.

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So the book itself holds, um.

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What would that be?

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90 days of, um, planning

towards your goal.

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And I have a method to

kind of the madness.

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It's not all about actions.

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Most people will think about a goal

planner or a day planner as like time

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management or project management.

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And I look at this planner as not only.

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Time management, but mental management.

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Mm-hmm.

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Like mental and emotional management,

because if you don't have that

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component locked in, nothing that you

do is gonna be sustainable and it's

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surely not going to be something that

feels good while you're doing it.

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And that's the goal of life.

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Mm-hmm.

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Is just be present enough to say, do I

actually enjoy what it is that I'm doing?

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Including making progress

towards my goals.

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So this has just become, the book

itself is just a labor of love that

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has finally come to market that holds

people's hand through the day in and

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day out process of achieving your goals.

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I have heard hundreds, if

not thousands of people say.

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I always set them.

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I'm really good at setting 'em.

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Mm-hmm.

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I never achieve them.

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Speaker: Yep.

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Speaker 2: And this puts a stop to that.

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Speaker: And you know, listeners, we

all have dreams, we all have goals.

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I mean, I don't care if it's something

that you think is silly and small,

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um, don't go by what this world says.

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Just, you know, pick what is it You

want more time with your grandkids.

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This will will help you figure it out.

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And you know what I meant

to say in the beginning?

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You know, I'm so smooth here.

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As I meant to say that we're gonna kind

of talk today and I think I'm actually

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gonna use this on doing divorce different

and saddle up live because we're

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gonna talk about how you get through.

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A really hard time, like a really

hard time, something difficult.

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It can be divorce, it can be a

diagnosis, it can be your dog dying.

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It can be like a really, or a

spouse dying or whatever it is.

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And what I just have to say, Tracy, is

I wanted you to talk about your calendar

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because I think because of the work that

I did with Tracy before I had my Super

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Heart event and my little trauma, um.

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It helped me through it.

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And Tracy, I was always someone

that didn't want anyone to suffer.

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Oh, I just wanna make

it all better for you.

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I don't want you to feel bad.

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And my poor children, right?

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I mean, I, you know, they need

therapy probably and coaching right

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now because I tried to keep them

protected from ever being hurt.

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And what I'm realizing is.

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That's kind of where the good stuff is.

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Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

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Speaker: And so we can't, we can't

like completely stop the bad some

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of the suffering like, but we

can help it along the way as long

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as we look at it and feel it.

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Is that making sense to you, trace?

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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And I have so much to say

about this because like.

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Allowing yourself to feel the quote

unquote bad feelings is where the

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good stuff is to use your words.

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Mm-hmm.

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Learn so much from it.

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And let's just categorize the

bad feelings as pain, right?

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Yeah.

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We all have pain in our life, and the

difference between pain and suffering is

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pain is what we learn from suffering is.

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When we make the pain mean

something about our worth, when

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we really start to like, ooh.

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Tell ourselves that I shouldn't be angry.

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I shouldn't be feeling sad.

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I shouldn't let anybody else feel

angry or sad or disappointed, like

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we make it mean something about our.

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Worth.

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And that's where the

suffering actually comes in.

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And that's what I help people

avoid is the unnecessary suffering.

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Speaker: I love that.

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I love how you just worded that and it

was an aha light bulb moment for me.

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I still get 'em.

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I'm still growing right

along with everyone.

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So I love that because, and here's

the thing, when I went through

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my hard thing, I felt the pain.

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But I, I, I don't think I suffered

trace, I think because, but it hurt.

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Mm-hmm.

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It hurt and it was hard.

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Mm-hmm.

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For a long time.

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Mm-hmm.

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For a long time I had to sit however I was

open to, what am I gonna learn from this?

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Why is, you know, what is the reason that

this has come into my life right now?

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Super

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Speaker 2: powerful questions right there.

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If you are somebody who is open to feeling

all of the emotions that come with any

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sort of circumstance, that's probably one

of the most powerful questions you can ask

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yourself is what can I learn from this?

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Because it really like takes that

layer of fear off and it puts

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you into like a curious space.

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Mm-hmm.

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It puts you into an inquisitive

space and you can't be afraid,

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like you can't be in this.

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Spiral of fear when your brain

is focused on the question, what

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is there to learn from this?

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Now, I'm not saying it can't quickly

shift back because it certainly can, but

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when you intentionally focus your brain

on answering that question, you'll notice

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how the vibration, the emotion changes.

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Mm-hmm.

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Then the actions follow suit.

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Emotions drive our behaviors

or drive our actions.

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So we will inherently change how

we're behaving when we change

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how it is that we're feeling.

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And we do have that control.

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Most people have never been taught

how to change the way you feel.

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They think that it's just like.

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Like planted on us

because of a circumstance.

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We lose a loved one and

we immediately feel sad.

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And that really isn't true.

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It isn't until we have a thought

that we actually feel something

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somebody could have passed and

we wouldn't even know about it.

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So that just debunks that

whole theory right there.

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Until we have been told, and

we have a thought about it,

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we won't have an emotion.

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Speaker: Right?

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Speaker 2: Circumstance actually

has very little to do with the

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emotion that we're feeling.

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It's a trigger for a thought.

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And so therefore, the point is, is that.

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We can control the way we think.

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Now, I'm not saying when you're

in pain, you should shift your

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focus so that you don't feel it.

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I think like we just discussed,

pain has a ton of value.

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You learn from it.

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So if you can train yourself to allow

yourself to just sit in it, lean into

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it, you'll be surprised at how much.

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You learn, but that's the key is actually

allowing yourself to, to feel it.

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Speaker: Exactly.

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And I think, um, it just was so

eye-opening to me to go through

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something that was so painful and scary.

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It was really scary to me.

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Um, and what I need to

say is that it hurt.

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It was painful for a long time.

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And, um, so even though I

kept, but, but what kept me.

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Well, I, you know, I surrender.

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I have my, my God, and I

surrendered everything to him.

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And, and that truly was life changing.

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Mm-hmm.

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But I, I, but it wasn't like, you

know, I think that I had anticipated

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with all the coaching that I had done,

well, I got this all figured out.

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I can change my thought.

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And you know what?

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I couldn't do it that fast

and, and that was okay.

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And so I don't want you to think.

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If your husband just came home and

said, I want a divorce, or if your

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kiddo's sick, or whatever it is,

I don't want you to think, oh, I

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should be able to switch my mind.

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I should be able to change this thought.

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It's a little bit deeper than that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would try on

the thought of all I have to do

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is allow the pain to be there.

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That's the thought that

I would go with, and

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Speaker: sometimes it's there for a

really long time and I mean, I would say.

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Six months to a year almost.

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I was kind of, well, six months

I was in feeling pretty painful,

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feeling pretty, a lot of pain.

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Um,

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you know, and, and then I think about

like, and it still will creep up on me.

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I mean, there are moments where I

will just get so overwhelmed that

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I'll just get tears in my eyes,

like, what the heck just happened?

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What did I go through?

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Like I went through that.

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What.

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And so it's kind of like when

I think about that too, I think

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about when you lose, like I have a

good friend who lost your husband.

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It you, I mean, you can be thankful

that you had that beautiful

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husband, but it's still gonna hurt.

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It's that still pain is

that pain is gonna be there.

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Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

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Speaker: Right?

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And you can suffer less, but you can't

really get rid, you know what I'm saying?

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Trace.

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Yeah.

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And I think that when I was kind of more

Suzy Sunshine and hadn't been through

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a lot of hard things, I don't think I

understood the depth of that real pain.

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And that, and that's why I think too, like

I can't stop doing di divorces because

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I, and I know my pain was different.

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I haven't been through a divorce,

but I've been through pain.

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And I think divorces can be really

difficult and really painful.

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Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

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And

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Speaker: that's why I think if you're in

a Susie Sunshine moment, work on yourself.

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I mean, because it is going to

save you when you like, learn

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how to feel your feelings.

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Mm-hmm.

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Because it is going to save

you when you drop down into the

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depths of something really hard.

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Right.

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It is going to, it, it was there, it

was there for me and I, and I, and it

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didn't, it's honey, it did not feel good.

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Right.

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And I think I was always like, oh, I

want everyone to think I'm doing well.

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Ha, I'm great.

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You know?

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No, it sucked.

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It sucked.

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And I did do really well because of the

choices that I made partly and partly

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because of God and, and whatever.

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And, and you know it, by the grace

of God it was caught early and, and

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my, and so I did have things to grab

onto, but everybody has hope and.

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Every, everything you're going

through, you do have something

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to grab onto with gratitude.

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Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

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And

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Speaker: I think that's

what kept me alive.

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And then just like I remember, I would

lay in bed and I would just try to

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think of the things I'm grateful for.

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They caught it early, it's cure,

you know, it's all these things.

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And then, and then I would sit

there and I would just feel.

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God's love.

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Mm-hmm.

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And sometimes I would have to go to

like when I felt love, like when you

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hold your baby for the first time,

just go back there and feel that.

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And then it kind of connected

me closer to how God loves me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker: I don't know.

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I mean, I'm just trying to throw this

stuff out here because I think the

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self-coaching was so, meant so much to me.

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But I think it's, there's more, I

mean, there's a lot of work in it.

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Oh yeah.

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And there was a lot of work in,

it's not just like, oh, just

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do this, follow these steps.

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It's not that, because I also

have to start thinking about when

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did I think that the first time?

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Because sometimes you, even though you

know a thought is ridiculous and you

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almost don't believe it, 'cause it seems

so dumb, it is so ingrained in your head.

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Mm-hmm.

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You can't get over it.

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Right.

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Until you really do the deep work.

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Yeah.

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And so just the neuroscience of it

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Speaker: Yeah.

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Can

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Speaker 2: help normalize.

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The experience.

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So you're like, oh, I

know that's not even true.

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Mm-hmm.

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Like, I know I'm not going to die.

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I know that I'm going to be okay,

but yet I can't shake this fear.

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Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

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Speaker 2: And the whole reason

why you're even having that thought

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that seems ridiculous is because

there is a neuro pathway mm-hmm.

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That was established when you

were probably two years old.

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Mm-hmm.

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Your little primitive brain was always

out there scanning for danger, looking for

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all of the ways you could potentially die.

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And so that is very human of you.

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And when you realize that just the

science of it, that alone can help you

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normalize it and allow it to be there.

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Mm-hmm.

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Good.

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The suffering that would happen

if you start to make it mean

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something about your worth.

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I shouldn't be feeling this way.

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Yes, I should feel better.

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This is so stupid that I

keep thinking that like.

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Those aren't helpful thoughts.

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Mm-hmm.

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Right.

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And that's what actually causes

the suffering is when you make

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the pain mean something about

your worth or your balance.

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Yes.

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And so that is the very

distinct difference.

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Yes.

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Between pain and suffering that

I like to get right off of, you

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know, right out of the gate.

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I like to help people level

set that first and foremost.

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Secondly, I would say self coaching.

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Is an art that takes a lot of practice.

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Mm-hmm.

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Speaker 3: And

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Speaker 2: that was the purpose

behind creating this planner, because

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it takes you through the exercise

of self coaching every single day

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with a very applicable like, um.

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Dynamic, which happens to be your day.

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There's a very applicable

element to your self-coaching.

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The circumstance is your day,

and that helps people build

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the muscle of self-coaching.

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Now, when you get into the

extraordinary circumstances, like a

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diagnosis or loss, I would recommend.

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Reaching out for help.

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Mm-hmm.

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Getting a professional to coach

you because when you've layered

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on maybe like the, um, I don't

know, just the inexperience of

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self-coaching with adversity.

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It's extraordinarily hard.

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Mm-hmm.

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But if you go and seek out coaching

from somebody who's been trained to

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prompt you to, to like see your mind in

a different sort of way, things change.

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So it's a big ask.

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To your point, self-coaching

is, is not easy.

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It is something that needs to be

practiced, but it's extraordinarily

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difficult when you've layered on.

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In unusual circumstance.

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Speaker: Yeah.

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Tracy, that is what has been so

eye-opening to me, and I think, I

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mean, I am, I've been trained by you.

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I am a coach.

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Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

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Speaker: And I'm gonna, I'm

gonna be very, very honest here.

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I dropped off the face of the

earth for a while and I need it to.

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That was what I needed.

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I and I, I did not get coaching, you know,

that I just said, uh, I need your prayers.

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I need your prayers.

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You know, and I would update you at my

little community that I would update.

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And, um, and I, I don't know

if my way was right or wrong,

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but you gotta do you right?

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Yep.

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Yep.

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But this is what I'm saying

is that I need, I think I

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need it like a year of rest.

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I needed that because I'm, I'm quite

messed up if you didn't know that.

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I'm like, I'm just learning

how to be me as we are.

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Right?

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Yes.

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No, I'm just kidding.

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I'm not that messed up, but, um.

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I'm just learning how to have

fun, how to follow my dreams,

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how to stop people pleasing.

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And so I, I did, I took that time of rest.

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I, but I, so I did not even

think about self-coaching.

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I did not do a calendar.

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I survived and, and I went back on

anxiety medication and that's okay.

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'cause I was spinning out.

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I was spinning out.

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Now I've like weaned off.

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Um, now I've come back to.

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My passions, my dream,

and they mean even more.

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Everything is just so much better now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I do wanna clarify.

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I don't think self coaching is the

end all be all, or even coaching,

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like professional coaching is

the end all, be all solution.

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There are lots of resources out there like

medications or like your spiritual faith,

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like there are a lot of different avenues

that you can go and you could take.

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Hybrid of all of 'em, you know, so, um,

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Speaker: well, and I don't

wanna downplay the value of it.

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This is what, like, I highly recommend.

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I mean, we all go through hard

things like we think, like not

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talking to our sister is hard.

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Well wait till you're like faced

with something like, I might die.

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And then you're gonna be like, oh, okay,

maybe I don't really care about that.

395

:

I'm gonna focus on this.

396

:

Right?

397

:

So I just wanna.

398

:

I totally believe in it for everyone

because even though I'm telling

399

:

you I didn't reach out for coaching

during that time, I know that

400

:

because I had practiced it and it

was part of me that it was in there.

401

:

But I just, because of my life, I just

needed that rest for a little while.

402

:

Mm-hmm.

403

:

And now.

404

:

I need the coaching back.

405

:

Mm-hmm.

406

:

I need the deadlines, I need my calendar.

407

:

And so I finally started do, I

didn't do a calendar the whole time.

408

:

I mean, I just said that,

but I, and, and that's okay.

409

:

Speaker 2: Yeah, I, I wanna just challenge

you on your thought around, I didn't

410

:

do any self-coaching during that time.

411

:

Right?

412

:

It's like, okay, well how do

you define self-coaching and

413

:

how do I define self-coaching?

414

:

Speaker: Right?

415

:

Speaker 2: I define self-coaching as.

416

:

Literally getting in touch with my

thoughts and making decisions about

417

:

what it is that I'm gonna believe.

418

:

That's what I consider self-coaching.

419

:

Some other people would say, you're not

self-coaching unless you have this book.

420

:

And you make specific decisions about

your day, how it is that you wanna

421

:

think and feel, and about where it

is that you're gonna be doing and

422

:

what it is you're gonna be doing.

423

:

Doing at that moment, like there are

different definitions, and when I hear

424

:

you replay what it is that you went

through over the course of six months

425

:

to a year, I hear you saying that

you did make decisions about how it

426

:

was that you were to think and feel.

427

:

You decided to hand it over to God.

428

:

That's a decision.

429

:

That's a belief.

430

:

That created peace.

431

:

That created comfort.

432

:

Speaker: It's so interesting

because when you first responded,

433

:

I thought, and I'm like, holy crap.

434

:

It was like self-coaching one.

435

:

Oh, I mean, through the whole thing

on steroids, all I did was self-coach.

436

:

Mm-hmm.

437

:

So isn't that interesting?

438

:

Yeah.

439

:

Even though I wasn't

sitting down doing the.

440

:

The whole thing was about reevaluating,

getting in touch with my feelings, um,

441

:

learning what was important to me, and

looking at why, why did this happen?

442

:

Like, let's just take a, this is a,

a nice, when you have a stage one

443

:

that they catch and cure, that's a

little wake up call that's a little.

444

:

What's going on in your life that,

you know, that would bring that on?

445

:

And I think that's so interesting.

446

:

And, and I don't know for sure what

it is, but I've got some, I've got

447

:

some really strong inklings mm-hmm.

448

:

On what it is.

449

:

So,

450

:

Speaker 2: yeah.

451

:

Yeah, yeah.

452

:

I, um, I also think that you

probably wouldn't have been in

453

:

the same place had you not had.

454

:

The skill sets on the onset, like

455

:

Speaker: never, never.

456

:

Speaker 2: Who had invested so much

time, energy, resources into creating

457

:

that skill that you were ready.

458

:

It just looked different when under

different circumstances or under that

459

:

veil of the diagnosis, the practice.

460

:

Looked different.

461

:

Speaker: Okay.

462

:

And this is, thank you.

463

:

I think this is what I wanna say.

464

:

I want everyone to learn how to do

self coaching and do the mind math.

465

:

You know, work with Tracy, do whatever

you can, because I think that's what

466

:

made all the difference, I think.

467

:

I think it was like it was

bringing me to the point where

468

:

I would be ready to truly heal.

469

:

Mm-hmm.

470

:

Like I truly heal so many aspects.

471

:

Not, you know, not just healing

the, the cancer, but healing.

472

:

The healing me.

473

:

All

474

:

Speaker 2: emotional.

475

:

Speaker: Yeah.

476

:

Yes.

477

:

But I never would've been there.

478

:

I never, Tracy, I.

479

:

I was so afraid and such a victim

and so judgy and all the work we

480

:

did lots of good work, didn't we?

481

:

Mm-hmm.

482

:

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

483

:

Oh,

484

:

Speaker: man.

485

:

I mean, the, the training I went through

with you, um, uh, you know, all the

486

:

things to, to just make me ready for it

and, you know, that's what I, I think

487

:

that's maybe what I want people to know.

488

:

Speaker 3: Like,

489

:

Speaker: yes, enjoy your life and

don't sit there and go, oh my gosh,

490

:

something horrible's around the corner.

491

:

Maybe it never is.

492

:

Right?

493

:

But it'll help you live a better life.

494

:

Speaker 2: Right.

495

:

And I wouldn't, I personally, I

wouldn't look at it as like an

496

:

insurance policy, like I have to do

this in case something tragic happens.

497

:

I wouldn't look at it that way.

498

:

I would actually look at it as.

499

:

The means to better understanding myself.

500

:

Mm-hmm.

501

:

Like, look at how you've come

out of this, like, you so much

502

:

better understand yourself.

503

:

And that's what self

coaching is truly all about.

504

:

Mm-hmm.

505

:

Yes.

506

:

It's the, the outcome is making decisions

ahead of time so that you feel in

507

:

control, but the path to getting there.

508

:

Is through better understanding yourself.

509

:

Mm-hmm.

510

:

So if you are somebody right now

who feels very out of sorts, very

511

:

out of touch, very confused about

your life and who you are, yeah.

512

:

Self-coaching is a great solution.

513

:

If you are somebody who is.

514

:

Saying, I don't know how I would

ever handle that kind of diagnosis.

515

:

Self-coaching right now is a great

option for you, so it serves you in a

516

:

lot of ways, but I certainly wouldn't

do it as that insurance policy.

517

:

Yeah, I would do it as a means of

better understanding yourself because

518

:

it really does make your life so

much more abundant when you can

519

:

have these ongoing conversations

with yourself and really kind.

520

:

Be present and think through

the different experiences.

521

:

It, it does make life more

abundant and more enjoy it.

522

:

Does.

523

:

Speaker: I, I don't know

who, who, it would not be for

524

:

Speaker 2: neither.

525

:

I mean, I, I feel like,

526

:

Speaker: I mean, really

like everyone, everyone.

527

:

That's what I, I guess that's

what I'm trying to say.

528

:

I really feel, um.

529

:

I just really wanna share that

with people, how much it helped me.

530

:

And if you can, you know, sign up

with Tracy and, or, or just listen to

531

:

the podcast on your mindset and, and

just, I guess the bottom line is feel

532

:

your feelings and don't judge 'em.

533

:

Have empathy for yourself.

534

:

Speaker 2: Right.

535

:

Yeah, the judging of your own feelings

is what creates the suffering, period.

536

:

Yeah.

537

:

And then we'll link the goal planner

because it's truly a day planner that

538

:

is helping you set and achieve goals.

539

:

That you, that are meaningful

for you in your life.

540

:

And, um, we have free workshops that

will help you maximize that planner.

541

:

Anybody could buy it today off of

Amazon and figure out how to use it.

542

:

But, um, why do that when you can

watch a workshop and have me hold your

543

:

hand through the way to maximize it?

544

:

Speaker: Well, and what I wanna

say, Tracy and I told you this

545

:

in our last get together, but.

546

:

So I, I need that

because I have big goals.

547

:

I have big things coming, you

know, which is super exciting.

548

:

'cause I always say Colonel

Sanders started at 65.

549

:

Yep.

550

:

I'm not that old yet.

551

:

No.

552

:

So I'm really excited for those things.

553

:

But this is, this is the ticket is

that before Easter I used, I mean

554

:

I used your work, this book, and I.

555

:

I thought I was intentional, but what,

what do I wanna get out of the state?

556

:

And I'm like the people pleaser who was

always worried about what people think.

557

:

And I thought, you know, what,

what could, what do I want?

558

:

And I thought, I wanna go to

Easter and I want to love ev.

559

:

I just wanna love everyone

and not, and not judge 'em.

560

:

And I wanna be interested in them,

and I wanna, and I don't wanna be

561

:

worried about me and how I appear

and I wanna go and I sit down and

562

:

connect and I, I actually rehearsed it.

563

:

I think Joe Dispenza said, or

whatever, said something about

564

:

this, like rehearsed it in my head.

565

:

Yeah.

566

:

Yeah.

567

:

And it was magic.

568

:

And do you know how much that meant to me?

569

:

Because those are things I

never even thought about.

570

:

This isn't just about professional, it is.

571

:

But it's also about, do you know

what a great Easter I had and do

572

:

you know the ripple effect that me.

573

:

Connecting with other

people, had on other people.

574

:

Right, right.

575

:

I mean, that's what it's all about.

576

:

Speaker 2: Yeah.

577

:

It has unlimited applications.

578

:

This applies to your professional life,

to the relationships in your life, to your

579

:

health and wellness, to your finances.

580

:

I mean, it's, it's truly unlimited

when, and, and it's so simple.

581

:

It is so simple.

582

:

It may not be easy, but the simplicity

of it is seriously picking three

583

:

events from any given day, and we

take you day by day by day, and I ask

584

:

you to pick three events that you're

gonna make a decision ahead of time.

585

:

I wanna underscore that a decision ahead

of time, not about where you're gonna be

586

:

and what it is that you're gonna be doing.

587

:

I don't care about that.

588

:

Any goal planner will have you

write that into the blank line.

589

:

I'm asking you to make a decision

about how it is that you want to feel.

590

:

Mm-hmm.

591

:

While you are.

592

:

Executing on that event, you guys,

it is a game changer because it will

593

:

require you to decide what it is

that you would have to be believing.

594

:

And now the like, the effort is

focused on, how do I remember that?

595

:

Because once you decide it, so if you've

decided that three hours before the

596

:

Easter event and now you find yourself

at the Easter event, it's super important

597

:

that you like squeeze the value out of

the work that you did three hours ago.

598

:

And you remember how was it

that I wanted to think and feel?

599

:

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

600

:

Speaker 2: So that's, that becomes

the quote unquote hard part.

601

:

And we have all sorts of

little hacks for that.

602

:

But as you get better at doing

this exercise, it becomes easier

603

:

because you've become grounded

uhhuh in your own decisions.

604

:

And so at any moment when you start

to feel like the uneasiness or the

605

:

confusion, that becomes the indicator to

remember the work that you did earlier.

606

:

Speaker: Amen, sister.

607

:

And that is what it was like

I was, that I was present.

608

:

So I went to Easter and I walked in.

609

:

And then if I was going back to the

old Lisa where I was like, um, I

610

:

don't know if she likes the way I'm

dressed, or, you know, whatever your

611

:

stupid thought you're ha I don't know.

612

:

That's the what, where I go.

613

:

I went, oh no.

614

:

That's not what I wanna

be focused on today.

615

:

Speaker 3: There you

616

:

Speaker: go.

617

:

And it, it was like, and it, and

so, and you are right because it's

618

:

not hard for me to remember anymore

because I am on the alert to recognize

619

:

those feelings that I don't want.

620

:

Speaker 2: Right.

621

:

Right?

622

:

Yeah.

623

:

Yeah.

624

:

And it just takes practice, you know?

625

:

And you're not going to buy the book

and all of a sudden be perfect at it.

626

:

You're gonna buy the book and you're

gonna fumble your way through the

627

:

first few weeks, and it's gonna feel

awkward because nobody ever taught

628

:

you how to decide ahead of time how

it is that you wanna think and feel.

629

:

But you're gonna get better at it, and

you're gonna get so good at it that

630

:

you'll find yourself in the moment.

631

:

Of any circumstance, feeling an

unwanted feeling and remembering

632

:

I don't have to feel this way.

633

:

Mm-hmm.

634

:

It's completely within my control, and

that right there is the definition of a

635

:

self-made person is when you remember.

636

:

Mm-hmm.

637

:

I don't have to feel this way.

638

:

I certainly can.

639

:

I'm sure that there would be

value at a gift and an opportunity

640

:

from any of these circumstances.

641

:

Mm-hmm.

642

:

But you decide, right?

643

:

You get to decide.

644

:

Speaker: Amen.

645

:

Amen.

646

:

And it's so important.

647

:

I never ever invested in

myself until I started working

648

:

with you like two years ago.

649

:

People, it's not that big of an

investment to just start with the planner.

650

:

Now I really invest in myself now.

651

:

It is really important to me and

still have a long way to go, but you.

652

:

Are the most important thing, and

God wants to use you to do his work.

653

:

So if you're not loving yourself and

feeding yourself, you can't do all

654

:

the good work you're here to do so,

655

:

Speaker 2: right.

656

:

Yeah.

657

:

That's why we called the planner

becoming self-made, because

658

:

it's a never ending journey.

659

:

Oh, right.

660

:

You're always on the

path of becoming right.

661

:

You're always learning

something about yourself.

662

:

There is never going to be that.

663

:

Finish line of perfection.

664

:

Yep.

665

:

It's always, you're always in the

state and we want people to embrace

666

:

and celebrate the state of becoming.

667

:

Speaker: I love it.

668

:

I love it because I'm still

becoming, but it still, it still

669

:

keeps just getting more beautiful.

670

:

So Tracy, thank you.

671

:

Thank you so much for being here.

672

:

I'm gonna have you back on, we'll

talk about more stuff, alright.

673

:

But find her in the show notes,

listeners, or go to self-made you.

674

:

Thanks, Tracy.

675

:

You take good care.

676

:

I'll see you next week.

677

:

Okay.

678

:

Take care.

679

:

Speaker 2: Bye-bye.

680

:

Speaker: Bye.

Show artwork for Saddle Up Live Podcast

About the Podcast

Saddle Up Live Podcast
Welcome to Saddle Up Live, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God’ s grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges. Join me, Lesa Koski, as I take you on a captivating ride through the multifaceted aspects of womanhood in this vibrant stage of life, covering everything from my journey through breast cancer, the intricacies of marriage and the joys of motherhood to the exciting adventures of grandparenting.

In each episode, we saddle up for candid conversations about God, health, relationships, family dynamics, and the beautiful chaos that comes along the way. But here's the twist: Saddle Up Live goes beyond navigating the highs and lows of life; it's a platform dedicated to sharing what we have learned along the way. I want to help women thrive through it all. Together, we'll uncover actionable strategies for personal and professional development, providing you with the tools and inspiration needed to blaze new trails and seize every opportunity that comes your way.

Moreover, we're committed to helping you suffer less and live more fully. Through our discussions on God, health, wellness, and mindfulness, we'll explore practical techniques for managing stress, cultivating resilience, and embracing a holistic approach to self-care.

So, whether you're looking for practical advice, heartfelt stories, or simply a supportive community of like-minded women, saddle up and join us on this exhilarating ride. Because at Saddle Up Live, we believe that every woman deserves to thrive, flourish, and live her best life - no matter her age or stage.


Bio: I am a wife, a mama, a grandma and an animal lover. I am blessed to be serving people from my barn office. I am obsessed with learning and communication. I love sharing what I learn with all of you! There is nothing more gratifying than holding people's hands through difficulties and sharing all the joy around us!
I am a recovering attorney who was mostly a stay at home mom; who adopted one and birthed two, ridden the bumpy marriage ride for 32 years. Found my passion at 50, learned how to control my mindset and anxiety and have built an amazing business in the last 6 years. I have journeyed through motherhood, weddings, grandbabies, entrepreneurship and menopause with grace, tears and laughter. I now I will share my story through breast cancer with you. I want to help women suffer less, know God loves them and they are worthy!! I am here to help you and I know all about what you’re going through.

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