Self-Coaching for the Soul: How to Think, Feel, and Grow Through Life’s Hardest Moments

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Welcome listeners.

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I'm super excited to have you here today.

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I am wearing my whimsy sweatshirt

because I am like off the high of

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spending three days with Bob Goff,

and if you don't know who he is,

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look him up because he's amazing and.

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He's inspiring and he makes you

feel loved and it's super fun.

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And then I get to, I flew in last night

from San Diego and here I am sitting

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across my screen from me is my dear

friend, my coach Tracy Plush court.

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Tracy, you were here.

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I mean, you've been here

through it all, right?

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Yeah.

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Like you've been through me going

through a really hard thing.

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You've been here through fun things.

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Yeah.

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And you were here for the beginning.

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You were the one I threw on

this podcast when I was kind

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of going through hard things.

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And we talked a lot in those

episodes, which I just wanna

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touch on this, Tracy, so just.

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Listeners, welcome.

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Here's Tracy.

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If you need coaching, go to Self-Made You.

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We'll have her info,

info in the show notes.

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She also has this amazing

calendar, and if you go back to

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the beginning of Saddle Up Live.

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We talk about schedules and how

they're so important and they

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still, still are so important to me.

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And we may talk about that a

little bit later, but just throw

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in a little information about that

calendar book that you've got out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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So, uh, well, thank you for having me.

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It's yes back.

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Uh, uh.

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Since we last met, we launched

a goal planner that really holds

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your hand through the day in

and day out progress towards.

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The goals that are most important to you.

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So the book is just a very organized

way of, number one, deciding what

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it is that you want from your life.

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So we kind of reverse architect it

and we look at what area of your life

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are you least satisfied with and why.

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And then that really launches

us into setting some goals.

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And then we take those goals and we

dissect what we would have to do.

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From an action standpoint to

make progress towards those goals

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over the course of three months.

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So the book itself holds, um.

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What would that be?

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90 days of, um, planning

towards your goal.

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And I have a method to

kind of the madness.

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It's not all about actions.

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Most people will think about a goal

planner or a day planner as like time

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management or project management.

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And I look at this planner as not only.

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Time management, but mental management.

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Mm-hmm.

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Like mental and emotional management,

because if you don't have that

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component locked in, nothing that you

do is gonna be sustainable and it's

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surely not going to be something that

feels good while you're doing it.

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And that's the goal of life.

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Mm-hmm.

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Is just be present enough to say, do I

actually enjoy what it is that I'm doing?

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Including making progress

towards my goals.

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So this has just become, the book

itself is just a labor of love that

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has finally come to market that holds

people's hand through the day in and

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day out process of achieving your goals.

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I have heard hundreds, if

not thousands of people say.

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I always set them.

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I'm really good at setting 'em.

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Mm-hmm.

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I never achieve them.

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Speaker: Yep.

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Speaker 2: And this puts a stop to that.

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Speaker: And you know, listeners, we

all have dreams, we all have goals.

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I mean, I don't care if it's something

that you think is silly and small,

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um, don't go by what this world says.

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Just, you know, pick what is it You

want more time with your grandkids.

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This will will help you figure it out.

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And you know what I meant

to say in the beginning?

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You know, I'm so smooth here.

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As I meant to say that we're gonna kind

of talk today and I think I'm actually

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gonna use this on doing divorce different

and saddle up live because we're

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gonna talk about how you get through.

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A really hard time, like a really

hard time, something difficult.

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It can be divorce, it can be a

diagnosis, it can be your dog dying.

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It can be like a really, or a

spouse dying or whatever it is.

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And what I just have to say, Tracy, is

I wanted you to talk about your calendar

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because I think because of the work that

I did with Tracy before I had my Super

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Heart event and my little trauma, um.

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It helped me through it.

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And Tracy, I was always someone

that didn't want anyone to suffer.

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Oh, I just wanna make

it all better for you.

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I don't want you to feel bad.

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And my poor children, right?

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I mean, I, you know, they need

therapy probably and coaching right

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now because I tried to keep them

protected from ever being hurt.

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And what I'm realizing is.

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That's kind of where the good stuff is.

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Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

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Speaker: And so we can't, we can't

like completely stop the bad some

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of the suffering like, but we

can help it along the way as long

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as we look at it and feel it.

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Is that making sense to you, trace?

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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And I have so much to say

about this because like.

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Allowing yourself to feel the quote

unquote bad feelings is where the

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good stuff is to use your words.

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Mm-hmm.

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Learn so much from it.

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And let's just categorize the

bad feelings as pain, right?

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Yeah.

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We all have pain in our life, and the

difference between pain and suffering is

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pain is what we learn from suffering is.

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When we make the pain mean

something about our worth, when

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we really start to like, ooh.

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Tell ourselves that I shouldn't be angry.

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I shouldn't be feeling sad.

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I shouldn't let anybody else feel

angry or sad or disappointed, like

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we make it mean something about our.

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Worth.

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And that's where the

suffering actually comes in.

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And that's what I help people

avoid is the unnecessary suffering.

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Speaker: I love that.

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I love how you just worded that and it

was an aha light bulb moment for me.

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I still get 'em.

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I'm still growing right

along with everyone.

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So I love that because, and here's

the thing, when I went through

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my hard thing, I felt the pain.

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But I, I, I don't think I suffered

trace, I think because, but it hurt.

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Mm-hmm.

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It hurt and it was hard.

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Mm-hmm.

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For a long time.

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Mm-hmm.

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For a long time I had to sit however I was

open to, what am I gonna learn from this?

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Why is, you know, what is the reason that

this has come into my life right now?

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Super

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Speaker 2: powerful questions right there.

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If you are somebody who is open to feeling

all of the emotions that come with any

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sort of circumstance, that's probably one

of the most powerful questions you can ask

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yourself is what can I learn from this?

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Because it really like takes that

layer of fear off and it puts

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you into like a curious space.

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Mm-hmm.

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It puts you into an inquisitive

space and you can't be afraid,

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like you can't be in this.

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Spiral of fear when your brain

is focused on the question, what

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is there to learn from this?

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Now, I'm not saying it can't quickly

shift back because it certainly can, but

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when you intentionally focus your brain

on answering that question, you'll notice

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how the vibration, the emotion changes.

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Mm-hmm.

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Then the actions follow suit.

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Emotions drive our behaviors

or drive our actions.

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So we will inherently change how

we're behaving when we change

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how it is that we're feeling.

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And we do have that control.

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Most people have never been taught

how to change the way you feel.

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They think that it's just like.

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Like planted on us

because of a circumstance.

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We lose a loved one and

we immediately feel sad.

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And that really isn't true.

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It isn't until we have a thought

that we actually feel something

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somebody could have passed and

we wouldn't even know about it.

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So that just debunks that

whole theory right there.

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Until we have been told, and

we have a thought about it,

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we won't have an emotion.

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Speaker: Right?

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Speaker 2: Circumstance actually

has very little to do with the

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emotion that we're feeling.

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It's a trigger for a thought.

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And so therefore, the point is, is that.

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We can control the way we think.

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Now, I'm not saying when you're

in pain, you should shift your

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focus so that you don't feel it.

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I think like we just discussed,

pain has a ton of value.

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You learn from it.

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So if you can train yourself to allow

yourself to just sit in it, lean into

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it, you'll be surprised at how much.

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You learn, but that's the key is actually

allowing yourself to, to feel it.

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Speaker: Exactly.

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And I think, um, it just was so

eye-opening to me to go through

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something that was so painful and scary.

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It was really scary to me.

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Um, and what I need to

say is that it hurt.

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It was painful for a long time.

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And, um, so even though I

kept, but, but what kept me.

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Well, I, you know, I surrender.

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I have my, my God, and I

surrendered everything to him.

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And, and that truly was life changing.

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Mm-hmm.

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But I, I, but it wasn't like, you

know, I think that I had anticipated

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with all the coaching that I had done,

well, I got this all figured out.

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I can change my thought.

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And you know what?

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I couldn't do it that fast

and, and that was okay.

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And so I don't want you to think.

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If your husband just came home and

said, I want a divorce, or if your

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kiddo's sick, or whatever it is,

I don't want you to think, oh, I

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should be able to switch my mind.

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I should be able to change this thought.

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It's a little bit deeper than that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would try on

the thought of all I have to do

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is allow the pain to be there.

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That's the thought that

I would go with, and

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Speaker: sometimes it's there for a

really long time and I mean, I would say.

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Six months to a year almost.

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I was kind of, well, six months

I was in feeling pretty painful,

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feeling pretty, a lot of pain.

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Um,

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you know, and, and then I think about

like, and it still will creep up on me.

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I mean, there are moments where I

will just get so overwhelmed that

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I'll just get tears in my eyes,

like, what the heck just happened?

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What did I go through?

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Like I went through that.

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What.

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And so it's kind of like when

I think about that too, I think

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about when you lose, like I have a

good friend who lost your husband.

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It you, I mean, you can be thankful

that you had that beautiful

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husband, but it's still gonna hurt.

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It's that still pain is

that pain is gonna be there.

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Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

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Speaker: Right?

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And you can suffer less, but you can't

really get rid, you know what I'm saying?

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Trace.

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Yeah.

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And I think that when I was kind of more

Suzy Sunshine and hadn't been through

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a lot of hard things, I don't think I

understood the depth of that real pain.

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And that, and that's why I think too, like

I can't stop doing di divorces because

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I, and I know my pain was different.

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I haven't been through a divorce,

but I've been through pain.

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And I think divorces can be really

difficult and really painful.

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Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

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And

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Speaker: that's why I think if you're in

a Susie Sunshine moment, work on yourself.

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I mean, because it is going to

save you when you like, learn

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how to feel your feelings.

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Mm-hmm.

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Because it is going to save

you when you drop down into the

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depths of something really hard.

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Right.

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It is going to, it, it was there, it

was there for me and I, and I, and it

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didn't, it's honey, it did not feel good.

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Right.

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And I think I was always like, oh, I

want everyone to think I'm doing well.

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Ha, I'm great.

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You know?

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No, it sucked.

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It sucked.

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And I did do really well because of the

choices that I made partly and partly

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because of God and, and whatever.

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And, and you know it, by the grace

of God it was caught early and, and

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my, and so I did have things to grab

onto, but everybody has hope and.

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Every, everything you're going

through, you do have something

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to grab onto with gratitude.

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Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

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And

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Speaker: I think that's

what kept me alive.

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And then just like I remember, I would

lay in bed and I would just try to

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think of the things I'm grateful for.

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They caught it early, it's cure,

you know, it's all these things.

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And then, and then I would sit

there and I would just feel.

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God's love.

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Mm-hmm.

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And sometimes I would have to go to

like when I felt love, like when you

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hold your baby for the first time,

just go back there and feel that.

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And then it kind of connected

me closer to how God loves me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker: I don't know.

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I mean, I'm just trying to throw this

stuff out here because I think the

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self-coaching was so, meant so much to me.

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But I think it's, there's more, I

mean, there's a lot of work in it.

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Oh yeah.

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And there was a lot of work in,

it's not just like, oh, just

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do this, follow these steps.

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It's not that, because I also

have to start thinking about when

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did I think that the first time?

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Because sometimes you, even though you

know a thought is ridiculous and you

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almost don't believe it, 'cause it seems

so dumb, it is so ingrained in your head.

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Mm-hmm.

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You can't get over it.

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Right.

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Until you really do the deep work.

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Yeah.

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And so just the neuroscience of it

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Speaker: Yeah.

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Can

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Speaker 2: help normalize.

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The experience.

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So you're like, oh, I

know that's not even true.

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Mm-hmm.

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Like, I know I'm not going to die.

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I know that I'm going to be okay,

but yet I can't shake this fear.

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Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

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Speaker 2: And the whole reason

why you're even having that thought

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that seems ridiculous is because

there is a neuro pathway mm-hmm.

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That was established when you

were probably two years old.

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Mm-hmm.

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Your little primitive brain was always

out there scanning for danger, looking for

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all of the ways you could potentially die.

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And so that is very human of you.

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And when you realize that just the

science of it, that alone can help you

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normalize it and allow it to be there.

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Mm-hmm.

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Good.

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The suffering that would happen

if you start to make it mean

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something about your worth.

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I shouldn't be feeling this way.

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Yes, I should feel better.

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This is so stupid that I

keep thinking that like.

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Those aren't helpful thoughts.

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Mm-hmm.

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Right.

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And that's what actually causes

the suffering is when you make

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the pain mean something about

your worth or your balance.

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Yes.

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And so that is the very

distinct difference.

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Yes.

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Between pain and suffering that

I like to get right off of, you

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know, right out of the gate.

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I like to help people level

set that first and foremost.

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Secondly, I would say self coaching.

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Is an art that takes a lot of practice.

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Mm-hmm.

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Speaker 3: And

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Speaker 2: that was the purpose

behind creating this planner, because

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it takes you through the exercise

of self coaching every single day

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with a very applicable like, um.

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Dynamic, which happens to be your day.

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There's a very applicable

element to your self-coaching.

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The circumstance is your day,

and that helps people build

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the muscle of self-coaching.

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Now, when you get into the

extraordinary circumstances, like a

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diagnosis or loss, I would recommend.

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: 00:16:42

Reaching out for help.

335

: 00:16:44

Mm-hmm.

336

: 00:16:44

Getting a professional to coach

you because when you've layered

337

: 00:16:49

on maybe like the, um, I don't

know, just the inexperience of

338

: 00:16:57

self-coaching with adversity.

339

: 00:17:01

It's extraordinarily hard.

340

: 00:17:03

Mm-hmm.

341

: 00:17:04

But if you go and seek out coaching

from somebody who's been trained to

342

: 00:17:09

prompt you to, to like see your mind in

a different sort of way, things change.

343

: 00:17:18

So it's a big ask.

344

: 00:17:19

To your point, self-coaching

is, is not easy.

345

: 00:17:23

It is something that needs to be

practiced, but it's extraordinarily

346

: 00:17:28

difficult when you've layered on.

347

: 00:17:30

In unusual circumstance.

348

: 00:17:33

Speaker: Yeah.

349

: 00:17:33

Tracy, that is what has been so

eye-opening to me, and I think, I

350

: 00:17:39

mean, I am, I've been trained by you.

351

: 00:17:40

I am a coach.

352

: 00:17:41

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

353

: 00:17:42

Speaker: And I'm gonna, I'm

gonna be very, very honest here.

354

: 00:17:45

I dropped off the face of the

earth for a while and I need it to.

355

: 00:17:50

That was what I needed.

356

: 00:17:52

I and I, I did not get coaching, you know,

that I just said, uh, I need your prayers.

357

: 00:17:58

I need your prayers.

358

: 00:17:59

You know, and I would update you at my

little community that I would update.

359

: 00:18:04

And, um, and I, I don't know

if my way was right or wrong,

360

: 00:18:09

but you gotta do you right?

361

: 00:18:11

Yep.

362

: 00:18:11

Yep.

363

: 00:18:11

But this is what I'm saying

is that I need, I think I

364

: 00:18:14

need it like a year of rest.

365

: 00:18:16

I needed that because I'm, I'm quite

messed up if you didn't know that.

366

: 00:18:23

I'm like, I'm just learning

how to be me as we are.

367

: 00:18:27

Right?

368

: 00:18:28

Yes.

369

: 00:18:29

No, I'm just kidding.

370

: 00:18:30

I'm not that messed up, but, um.

371

: 00:18:33

I'm just learning how to have

fun, how to follow my dreams,

372

: 00:18:36

how to stop people pleasing.

373

: 00:18:39

And so I, I did, I took that time of rest.

374

: 00:18:42

I, but I, so I did not even

think about self-coaching.

375

: 00:18:46

I did not do a calendar.

376

: 00:18:47

I survived and, and I went back on

anxiety medication and that's okay.

377

: 00:18:54

'cause I was spinning out.

378

: 00:18:56

I was spinning out.

379

: 00:18:57

Now I've like weaned off.

380

: 00:18:59

Um, now I've come back to.

381

: 00:19:02

My passions, my dream,

and they mean even more.

382

: 00:19:06

Everything is just so much better now.

383

: 00:19:09

Speaker 2: Yeah, I do wanna clarify.

384

: 00:19:11

I don't think self coaching is the

end all be all, or even coaching,

385

: 00:19:15

like professional coaching is

the end all, be all solution.

386

: 00:19:19

There are lots of resources out there like

medications or like your spiritual faith,

387

: 00:19:27

like there are a lot of different avenues

that you can go and you could take.

388

: 00:19:33

Hybrid of all of 'em, you know, so, um,

389

: 00:19:36

Speaker: well, and I don't

wanna downplay the value of it.

390

: 00:19:40

This is what, like, I highly recommend.

391

: 00:19:43

I mean, we all go through hard

things like we think, like not

392

: 00:19:47

talking to our sister is hard.

393

: 00:19:48

Well wait till you're like faced

with something like, I might die.

394

: 00:19:52

And then you're gonna be like, oh, okay,

maybe I don't really care about that.

395

: 00:19:55

I'm gonna focus on this.

396

: 00:19:57

Right?

397

: 00:19:57

So I just wanna.

398

: 00:19:58

I totally believe in it for everyone

because even though I'm telling

399

: 00:20:04

you I didn't reach out for coaching

during that time, I know that

400

: 00:20:08

because I had practiced it and it

was part of me that it was in there.

401

: 00:20:12

But I just, because of my life, I just

needed that rest for a little while.

402

: 00:20:17

Mm-hmm.

403

: 00:20:18

And now.

404

: 00:20:19

I need the coaching back.

405

: 00:20:20

Mm-hmm.

406

: 00:20:20

I need the deadlines, I need my calendar.

407

: 00:20:23

And so I finally started do, I

didn't do a calendar the whole time.

408

: 00:20:26

I mean, I just said that,

but I, and, and that's okay.

409

: 00:20:30

Speaker 2: Yeah, I, I wanna just challenge

you on your thought around, I didn't

410

: 00:20:37

do any self-coaching during that time.

411

: 00:20:39

Right?

412

: 00:20:39

It's like, okay, well how do

you define self-coaching and

413

: 00:20:44

how do I define self-coaching?

414

: 00:20:45

Speaker: Right?

415

: 00:20:46

Speaker 2: I define self-coaching as.

416

: 00:20:48

Literally getting in touch with my

thoughts and making decisions about

417

: 00:20:54

what it is that I'm gonna believe.

418

: 00:20:55

That's what I consider self-coaching.

419

: 00:20:57

Some other people would say, you're not

self-coaching unless you have this book.

420

: 00:21:02

And you make specific decisions about

your day, how it is that you wanna

421

: 00:21:08

think and feel, and about where it

is that you're gonna be doing and

422

: 00:21:10

what it is you're gonna be doing.

423

: 00:21:11

Doing at that moment, like there are

different definitions, and when I hear

424

: 00:21:17

you replay what it is that you went

through over the course of six months

425

: 00:21:22

to a year, I hear you saying that

you did make decisions about how it

426

: 00:21:29

was that you were to think and feel.

427

: 00:21:31

You decided to hand it over to God.

428

: 00:21:35

That's a decision.

429

: 00:21:38

That's a belief.

430

: 00:21:40

That created peace.

431

: 00:21:42

That created comfort.

432

: 00:21:45

Speaker: It's so interesting

because when you first responded,

433

: 00:21:47

I thought, and I'm like, holy crap.

434

: 00:21:50

It was like self-coaching one.

435

: 00:21:53

Oh, I mean, through the whole thing

on steroids, all I did was self-coach.

436

: 00:21:58

Mm-hmm.

437

: 00:21:59

So isn't that interesting?

438

: 00:22:00

Yeah.

439

: 00:22:00

Even though I wasn't

sitting down doing the.

440

: 00:22:04

The whole thing was about reevaluating,

getting in touch with my feelings, um,

441

: 00:22:11

learning what was important to me, and

looking at why, why did this happen?

442

: 00:22:16

Like, let's just take a, this is a,

a nice, when you have a stage one

443

: 00:22:22

that they catch and cure, that's a

little wake up call that's a little.

444

: 00:22:27

What's going on in your life that,

you know, that would bring that on?

445

: 00:22:30

And I think that's so interesting.

446

: 00:22:32

And, and I don't know for sure what

it is, but I've got some, I've got

447

: 00:22:36

some really strong inklings mm-hmm.

448

: 00:22:39

On what it is.

449

: 00:22:39

So,

450

: 00:22:40

Speaker 2: yeah.

451

: 00:22:41

Yeah, yeah.

452

: 00:22:42

I, um, I also think that you

probably wouldn't have been in

453

: 00:22:48

the same place had you not had.

454

: 00:22:51

The skill sets on the onset, like

455

: 00:22:54

Speaker: never, never.

456

: 00:22:55

Speaker 2: Who had invested so much

time, energy, resources into creating

457

: 00:23:01

that skill that you were ready.

458

: 00:23:05

It just looked different when under

different circumstances or under that

459

: 00:23:10

veil of the diagnosis, the practice.

460

: 00:23:13

Looked different.

461

: 00:23:15

Speaker: Okay.

462

: 00:23:15

And this is, thank you.

463

: 00:23:17

I think this is what I wanna say.

464

: 00:23:19

I want everyone to learn how to do

self coaching and do the mind math.

465

: 00:23:24

You know, work with Tracy, do whatever

you can, because I think that's what

466

: 00:23:30

made all the difference, I think.

467

: 00:23:32

I think it was like it was

bringing me to the point where

468

: 00:23:35

I would be ready to truly heal.

469

: 00:23:38

Mm-hmm.

470

: 00:23:39

Like I truly heal so many aspects.

471

: 00:23:42

Not, you know, not just healing

the, the cancer, but healing.

472

: 00:23:46

The healing me.

473

: 00:23:47

All

474

: 00:23:48

Speaker 2: emotional.

475

: 00:23:48

Speaker: Yeah.

476

: 00:23:49

Yes.

477

: 00:23:49

But I never would've been there.

478

: 00:23:51

I never, Tracy, I.

479

: 00:23:53

I was so afraid and such a victim

and so judgy and all the work we

480

: 00:23:59

did lots of good work, didn't we?

481

: 00:24:01

Mm-hmm.

482

: 00:24:01

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

483

: 00:24:02

Oh,

484

: 00:24:02

Speaker: man.

485

: 00:24:02

I mean, the, the training I went through

with you, um, uh, you know, all the

486

: 00:24:07

things to, to just make me ready for it

and, you know, that's what I, I think

487

: 00:24:12

that's maybe what I want people to know.

488

: 00:24:14

Speaker 3: Like,

489

: 00:24:14

Speaker: yes, enjoy your life and

don't sit there and go, oh my gosh,

490

: 00:24:17

something horrible's around the corner.

491

: 00:24:18

Maybe it never is.

492

: 00:24:19

Right?

493

: 00:24:20

But it'll help you live a better life.

494

: 00:24:22

Speaker 2: Right.

495

: 00:24:22

And I wouldn't, I personally, I

wouldn't look at it as like an

496

: 00:24:27

insurance policy, like I have to do

this in case something tragic happens.

497

: 00:24:34

I wouldn't look at it that way.

498

: 00:24:36

I would actually look at it as.

499

: 00:24:38

The means to better understanding myself.

500

: 00:24:41

Mm-hmm.

501

: 00:24:41

Like, look at how you've come

out of this, like, you so much

502

: 00:24:46

better understand yourself.

503

: 00:24:47

And that's what self

coaching is truly all about.

504

: 00:24:51

Mm-hmm.

505

: 00:24:52

Yes.

506

: 00:24:52

It's the, the outcome is making decisions

ahead of time so that you feel in

507

: 00:24:57

control, but the path to getting there.

508

: 00:25:01

Is through better understanding yourself.

509

: 00:25:03

Mm-hmm.

510

: 00:25:03

So if you are somebody right now

who feels very out of sorts, very

511

: 00:25:07

out of touch, very confused about

your life and who you are, yeah.

512

: 00:25:13

Self-coaching is a great solution.

513

: 00:25:16

If you are somebody who is.

514

: 00:25:20

Saying, I don't know how I would

ever handle that kind of diagnosis.

515

: 00:25:26

Self-coaching right now is a great

option for you, so it serves you in a

516

: 00:25:32

lot of ways, but I certainly wouldn't

do it as that insurance policy.

517

: 00:25:36

Yeah, I would do it as a means of

better understanding yourself because

518

: 00:25:42

it really does make your life so

much more abundant when you can

519

: 00:25:46

have these ongoing conversations

with yourself and really kind.

520

: 00:25:50

Be present and think through

the different experiences.

521

: 00:25:54

It, it does make life more

abundant and more enjoy it.

522

: 00:25:57

Does.

523

: 00:25:58

Speaker: I, I don't know

who, who, it would not be for

524

: 00:26:02

Speaker 2: neither.

525

: 00:26:03

I mean, I, I feel like,

526

: 00:26:05

Speaker: I mean, really

like everyone, everyone.

527

: 00:26:07

That's what I, I guess that's

what I'm trying to say.

528

: 00:26:10

I really feel, um.

529

: 00:26:13

I just really wanna share that

with people, how much it helped me.

530

: 00:26:16

And if you can, you know, sign up

with Tracy and, or, or just listen to

531

: 00:26:21

the podcast on your mindset and, and

just, I guess the bottom line is feel

532

: 00:26:26

your feelings and don't judge 'em.

533

: 00:26:29

Have empathy for yourself.

534

: 00:26:31

Speaker 2: Right.

535

: 00:26:32

Yeah, the judging of your own feelings

is what creates the suffering, period.

536

: 00:26:37

Yeah.

537

: 00:26:37

And then we'll link the goal planner

because it's truly a day planner that

538

: 00:26:43

is helping you set and achieve goals.

539

: 00:26:47

That you, that are meaningful

for you in your life.

540

: 00:26:50

And, um, we have free workshops that

will help you maximize that planner.

541

: 00:26:57

Anybody could buy it today off of

Amazon and figure out how to use it.

542

: 00:27:02

But, um, why do that when you can

watch a workshop and have me hold your

543

: 00:27:08

hand through the way to maximize it?

544

: 00:27:11

Speaker: Well, and what I wanna

say, Tracy and I told you this

545

: 00:27:13

in our last get together, but.

546

: 00:27:16

So I, I need that

because I have big goals.

547

: 00:27:19

I have big things coming, you

know, which is super exciting.

548

: 00:27:23

'cause I always say Colonel

Sanders started at 65.

549

: 00:27:27

Yep.

550

: 00:27:27

I'm not that old yet.

551

: 00:27:29

No.

552

: 00:27:30

So I'm really excited for those things.

553

: 00:27:31

But this is, this is the ticket is

that before Easter I used, I mean

554

: 00:27:40

I used your work, this book, and I.

555

: 00:27:43

I thought I was intentional, but what,

what do I wanna get out of the state?

556

: 00:27:48

And I'm like the people pleaser who was

always worried about what people think.

557

: 00:27:50

And I thought, you know, what,

what could, what do I want?

558

: 00:27:54

And I thought, I wanna go to

Easter and I want to love ev.

559

: 00:27:59

I just wanna love everyone

and not, and not judge 'em.

560

: 00:28:02

And I wanna be interested in them,

and I wanna, and I don't wanna be

561

: 00:28:06

worried about me and how I appear

and I wanna go and I sit down and

562

: 00:28:13

connect and I, I actually rehearsed it.

563

: 00:28:17

I think Joe Dispenza said, or

whatever, said something about

564

: 00:28:20

this, like rehearsed it in my head.

565

: 00:28:22

Yeah.

566

: 00:28:22

Yeah.

567

: 00:28:23

And it was magic.

568

: 00:28:24

And do you know how much that meant to me?

569

: 00:28:25

Because those are things I

never even thought about.

570

: 00:28:28

This isn't just about professional, it is.

571

: 00:28:32

But it's also about, do you know

what a great Easter I had and do

572

: 00:28:36

you know the ripple effect that me.

573

: 00:28:41

Connecting with other

people, had on other people.

574

: 00:28:45

Right, right.

575

: 00:28:46

I mean, that's what it's all about.

576

: 00:28:47

Speaker 2: Yeah.

577

: 00:28:48

It has unlimited applications.

578

: 00:28:50

This applies to your professional life,

to the relationships in your life, to your

579

: 00:28:55

health and wellness, to your finances.

580

: 00:28:58

I mean, it's, it's truly unlimited

when, and, and it's so simple.

581

: 00:29:04

It is so simple.

582

: 00:29:05

It may not be easy, but the simplicity

of it is seriously picking three

583

: 00:29:11

events from any given day, and we

take you day by day by day, and I ask

584

: 00:29:17

you to pick three events that you're

gonna make a decision ahead of time.

585

: 00:29:23

I wanna underscore that a decision ahead

of time, not about where you're gonna be

586

: 00:29:28

and what it is that you're gonna be doing.

587

: 00:29:30

I don't care about that.

588

: 00:29:31

Any goal planner will have you

write that into the blank line.

589

: 00:29:35

I'm asking you to make a decision

about how it is that you want to feel.

590

: 00:29:40

Mm-hmm.

591

: 00:29:41

While you are.

592

: 00:29:43

Executing on that event, you guys,

it is a game changer because it will

593

: 00:29:48

require you to decide what it is

that you would have to be believing.

594

: 00:29:54

And now the like, the effort is

focused on, how do I remember that?

595

: 00:30:01

Because once you decide it, so if you've

decided that three hours before the

596

: 00:30:06

Easter event and now you find yourself

at the Easter event, it's super important

597

: 00:30:13

that you like squeeze the value out of

the work that you did three hours ago.

598

: 00:30:16

And you remember how was it

that I wanted to think and feel?

599

: 00:30:21

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

600

: 00:30:22

Speaker 2: So that's, that becomes

the quote unquote hard part.

601

: 00:30:26

And we have all sorts of

little hacks for that.

602

: 00:30:29

But as you get better at doing

this exercise, it becomes easier

603

: 00:30:33

because you've become grounded

uhhuh in your own decisions.

604

: 00:30:37

And so at any moment when you start

to feel like the uneasiness or the

605

: 00:30:43

confusion, that becomes the indicator to

remember the work that you did earlier.

606

: 00:30:49

Speaker: Amen, sister.

607

: 00:30:50

And that is what it was like

I was, that I was present.

608

: 00:30:54

So I went to Easter and I walked in.

609

: 00:30:56

And then if I was going back to the

old Lisa where I was like, um, I

610

: 00:31:01

don't know if she likes the way I'm

dressed, or, you know, whatever your

611

: 00:31:04

stupid thought you're ha I don't know.

612

: 00:31:06

That's the what, where I go.

613

: 00:31:07

I went, oh no.

614

: 00:31:10

That's not what I wanna

be focused on today.

615

: 00:31:13

Speaker 3: There you

616

: 00:31:13

Speaker: go.

617

: 00:31:14

And it, it was like, and it, and

so, and you are right because it's

618

: 00:31:17

not hard for me to remember anymore

because I am on the alert to recognize

619

: 00:31:23

those feelings that I don't want.

620

: 00:31:25

Speaker 2: Right.

621

: 00:31:26

Right?

622

: 00:31:26

Yeah.

623

: 00:31:27

Yeah.

624

: 00:31:28

And it just takes practice, you know?

625

: 00:31:30

And you're not going to buy the book

and all of a sudden be perfect at it.

626

: 00:31:33

You're gonna buy the book and you're

gonna fumble your way through the

627

: 00:31:37

first few weeks, and it's gonna feel

awkward because nobody ever taught

628

: 00:31:41

you how to decide ahead of time how

it is that you wanna think and feel.

629

: 00:31:45

But you're gonna get better at it, and

you're gonna get so good at it that

630

: 00:31:49

you'll find yourself in the moment.

631

: 00:31:51

Of any circumstance, feeling an

unwanted feeling and remembering

632

: 00:31:58

I don't have to feel this way.

633

: 00:31:59

Mm-hmm.

634

: 00:31:59

It's completely within my control, and

that right there is the definition of a

635

: 00:32:06

self-made person is when you remember.

636

: 00:32:10

Mm-hmm.

637

: 00:32:10

I don't have to feel this way.

638

: 00:32:12

I certainly can.

639

: 00:32:14

I'm sure that there would be

value at a gift and an opportunity

640

: 00:32:19

from any of these circumstances.

641

: 00:32:21

Mm-hmm.

642

: 00:32:22

But you decide, right?

643

: 00:32:23

You get to decide.

644

: 00:32:25

Speaker: Amen.

645

: 00:32:26

Amen.

646

: 00:32:26

And it's so important.

647

: 00:32:27

I never ever invested in

myself until I started working

648

: 00:32:31

with you like two years ago.

649

: 00:32:33

People, it's not that big of an

investment to just start with the planner.

650

: 00:32:37

Now I really invest in myself now.

651

: 00:32:40

It is really important to me and

still have a long way to go, but you.

652

: 00:32:46

Are the most important thing, and

God wants to use you to do his work.

653

: 00:32:51

So if you're not loving yourself and

feeding yourself, you can't do all

654

: 00:32:55

the good work you're here to do so,

655

: 00:32:57

Speaker 2: right.

656

: 00:32:58

Yeah.

657

: 00:32:58

That's why we called the planner

becoming self-made, because

658

: 00:33:02

it's a never ending journey.

659

: 00:33:04

Oh, right.

660

: 00:33:04

You're always on the

path of becoming right.

661

: 00:33:07

You're always learning

something about yourself.

662

: 00:33:09

There is never going to be that.

663

: 00:33:11

Finish line of perfection.

664

: 00:33:13

Yep.

665

: 00:33:14

It's always, you're always in the

state and we want people to embrace

666

: 00:33:17

and celebrate the state of becoming.

667

: 00:33:20

Speaker: I love it.

668

: 00:33:21

I love it because I'm still

becoming, but it still, it still

669

: 00:33:24

keeps just getting more beautiful.

670

: 00:33:25

So Tracy, thank you.

671

: 00:33:28

Thank you so much for being here.

672

: 00:33:29

I'm gonna have you back on, we'll

talk about more stuff, alright.

673

: 00:33:32

But find her in the show notes,

listeners, or go to self-made you.

674

: 00:33:35

Thanks, Tracy.

675

: 00:33:36

You take good care.

676

: 00:33:37

I'll see you next week.

677

: 00:33:38

Okay.

678

: 00:33:39

Take care.

679

: 00:33:39

Speaker 2: Bye-bye.

680

: 00:33:40

Speaker: Bye.