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Welcome listeners.

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I'm so thankful that you're here

today as always, and I'm excited.

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I do have exciting news and I know that

I told you last week that I'd fill you

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in and I mentioned that I was writing

a book, but at the end of April, I

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am going to The Oaks in California

and I am working with Bob Goff.

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I could jump up and down and scream.

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I'm working with him to get my

book done, so, um, super excited.

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I can't wait to fill you in more.

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I have not heard the voice

of God a lot, but I swore I

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heard him say, write the book.

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So We'll see if it's meant for my healing,

for your healing, but really excited about

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it and I'll talk more about it as I go,

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And you know, too, I'm traveling, so I'm

in, Iowa helping my daughter who's working

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nights and selling a house and has a,

a little, so I'm helping out with that.

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So we're doing, a couple of these.

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Independent, podcast without a guess,

but I promise I have a lots of 'em lined

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up and they're gonna be jumping on soon

if you're tired of hearing my stories.

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But this episode I'm excited about

and I've been wanting to share it.

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For about a week I've held on, I'm

like, okay, I cannot forget that

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I wanna share this information.

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I actually just wrote down some notes

before I jumped on to record this.

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And last week, Mel Robbins did a

fabulous, I mean, she's amazing, right?

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She did a fabulous podcast about,

getting res, being respected by others.

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I thought, oh, that's a good one.

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So I'm gonna talk about that and I'm

gonna tell you something interesting

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that I learned about myself and

at the end, I can't help it.

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I'm gonna throw anxiety in there

because I used a tool that really

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helped me, and you know that I'm

always looking for those tools to help

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us through hard things like anxiety.

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So I'm gonna talk about that at the end.

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I'm gonna start out with kind of doing a

quick little review of that podcast on.

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Getting respect from other people.

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And she explained so concisely

how you can be disrespected.

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And I think sometimes we're not aware of

it, so just kind of become aware of it.

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And one great example is being

interrupted, which sadly I

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interrupt and that's disrespectful.

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So, on the flip side, I'm gonna

really practice not interrupting.

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However, I get interrupted too,

especially in a big house full of a

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big, loud family, and I'm not so loud.

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And what she said was, when you get

interrupted, keep talking, slow down.

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And you know sometimes how you, if

you use a quiet, slower voice, people

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will really tune in and listen to you.

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So she suggested that, and she said,

if you're still being interrupted.

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Just bring it up, which

is, why don't we do that?

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Like we carry things with us and we don't

just say, Hey Harvey, I wanna hear what

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you have to say, but I was talking about

this, so can we come back to you later?

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And then how respectful it would be if you

did come back after you said your piece.

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Then you could say, Hey

Harvey, come back in.

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So like, okay, That's great advice

and I'm gonna watch for that because

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we all know that if we wanna be

respected, it starts with us.

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Right.

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Another thing she mentioned

is your feelings matter.

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So don't let anyone say, ah,

why would you feel like that?

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Or, that's stupid, or, or whatever it is.

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Your feelings matter and make

sure that you're aware of that

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and you can again, just voice it.

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Here's a good one, and I have

a little story about this one

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when people are not on time.

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For you, like if you have a coffee date

or, whatever it is, that's disrespectful.

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And I do, I do have one friend that

likes to run late, not horribly

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late, and it's disrespectful.

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And so to be respectful, make sure

you get on time to places and you,

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we all know that things happen.

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Traffic pops up, whatever it is, just get

there and say thank you for being patient,

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because that's the best you can do.

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And you don't need to like go into

these big ordeals because we're

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all busy and, and things happen.

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But just say, thank you for your patience.

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But I have a story.

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And there were these friends that I

had in high school and I mean, I was

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kind of in their friend group, but.

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I don't know.

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I kinda flitted around to

a lot of friend groups.

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'cause you know, I was that people-pleaser

that wanted everyone to like me, but I

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would, I didn't really connect with them,

but they were kind of my friend groups.

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So as I grew and I, I think I

was even graduated from college

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and I was going to meet them, we

were gonna meet at a restaurant.

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Cute little restaurant in Stillwater.

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We had cell phones.

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It was a, it was quite a while ago.

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It was probably like 15 years ago,

maybe even a little bit more than that.

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And so I got to the restaurant on

time and I sat there probably for

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half an hour, and I don't even know,

I think they bothered to call me about

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45 minutes in and they were like.

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Kind of laughing about it and I

was sitting there all by myself.

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It wasn't like one person was

there, it was like four people

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were coming and they were all late.

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And I made a decision and

it did kind of end that.

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I made the decision to end

that relationship with those

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people and I got up and I left.

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It was too far and I

respected myself too much.

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And so those ladies kinda laughed at me.

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Nobody apologized.

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you know, and so I was kind of done.

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I mean, I've seen 'em,

it's not like we hate 'em.

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Of course we forgive people

because we're Christians, right?

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But it wasn't, it wasn't a good,

a good friend group for me anyway.

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And I had to respect myself.

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So I left the restaurant and I didn't.

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Say, sorry, I didn't, which

would be a normal Lisa move.

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I just let it go.

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I let them, and the relationship

did fizzle, but it was probably,

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it was necessary that it fizzled.

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So be on time and when you can't be,

just say thank you for your patience.

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Another thing that Mel talked about was

how the silent treatment is really, kind

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of not abusive, but kind of because.

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Somebody's not telling you that you're,

they're mad at you and they're mad because

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they think you should read their mind.

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And I've been on both

sides of this, right?

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So let's re remember that and remember

that people don't remind, and I know we

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think that they should, and how could they

not know that people don't, You have no

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right to be mad if you can't tell them.

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So just tell them.

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And I'm telling you, I have

used this in my life lately and

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it really, really does work.

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So quit the siloed treatment.

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Let's just bring it out onto the table.

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I do need to add, and this is kind of

gonna get into how I'm gonna talk about

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how this information about respect from

other people really made me look at.

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Sometimes I disrespect myself

and there are times when I think

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I shouldn't be mad about that.

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And so then I don't say

that I'm mad about it.

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And then, I, you know, then

I do the silent treatment.

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'cause I'm not saying what I feel.

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People, your feelings matter.

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Talk it out if you're mad.

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You have every right.

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Look at it, talk about it.

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You can be polite and say, okay,

this is making me feel this way.

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is that, was that your intent?

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So clarify it.

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And that's the same thing.

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She, she also talked about,

and this is so interesting.

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I had an attorney that I worked

with and she was a little bit older

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than me, and she would do like

backhanded, sarcastic, like, oh, you

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don't seem like you'd be an attorney.

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And what Mel said to do, I would just

take that, I remember, I could just feel

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like going, ugh, feeling icky about it.

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And Mel said, ask them to repeat it.

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Say, oh wait, can you say that again?

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And she said they don't want to repeat

it because they kind of wanna slide

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it in and not be nice and, and then

let them know how it made you feel.

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as you're earning respect from

other people, you're gonna

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gain respect for yourself.

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Because like I said, as I

look through all of these,

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it starts with me and, oh, friends,

I don't respect myself enough.

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now I did, like I said, there

were some examples like with those

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friends, I had had enough and I

respected myself, but so many times.

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I don't respect my own feelings and I

judge them, and I think we all do this.

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And I go, well, I shouldn't

be feeling that way.

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So that's stupid.

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And so I'm not, I'm not gonna say

how I feel, just like I was saying,

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I'm not gonna tell someone I'm

mad because I shouldn't be mad.

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You need to respect your

feelings and we know.

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We've talked about this a lot, that

our feelings aren't gonna hurt us.

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We need to go into 'em.

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I mean, and that's, there is

just so much work in this.

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I feel like there are so many things

getting thrown together for me right now

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on this healing journey and to really

know where your feelings are coming from.

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I'd like to talk about that core wounds

course because you kinda go way back, to.

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I mean, when you were like

two or, or whatever it was.

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And that takes work.

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Like there's a JJ Zain course that is in

these show notes that I highly recommend.

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the work that I did with Sonia,

the tapping gal that was on the

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podcast, she also talked about,

you've gotta go back to where those.

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Feelings come from because you can

make positive affirmations all you

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want, but if you don't really know

what you're looking at and where

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that stems from, it's gonna be hard.

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And I think it's probably a process that

you're gonna go through your whole life.

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you're gonna keep growing and learning,

of course, but I can tell you, I mean,

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you've seen me go through this journey.

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Life is getting better.

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So that Mel Robbins podcast, I.

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Go back and listen to it.

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Talked about getting respect from

other people, and I'm telling

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you, use it and respect yourself.

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Be on time for yourself when

you have a lunch date to watch

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Heartland and eat a salad like I do.

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Be on time.

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That's your time.

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Be on time for yourself.

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Be kind about your feelings.

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Be understanding and have empathy when

you feel angry, be kind to yourself.

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And then on the other side, as we can

grow and get that respect for ourselves,

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I do think that's where it starts.

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But it is in conjunction

with other people.

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It will give you practice

on how to gain that respect.

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So I feel so strongly about that, and I

have been wanting to talk about that since

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last week when I was on a walk and I heard

that podcast, I promised you that I would

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talk also, not only about the respect

piece, but about anxiety because it's

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just something that I am always dealing

with and I'm really wanting to wean off

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the medication that I was on that I'm

thankful for because it was a situational

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journey for me and I needed it.

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But I also think maybe, I

wonder if it's maybe muddling

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with my clarity a little bit.

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you know, when I get overwhelmed it can

kind of stop me and so I, I wanna look

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at what it, what it's gonna be like.

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So I'm slowly weaning off of it.

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So I really need to make sure that

I'm dealing with anxiety well,

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I am a person who is very

easily overwhelmed and.

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I don't like that about me.

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See, I'm not being nice to myself.

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Who cares?

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God created me.

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It's who I am.

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But I get really overwhelmed and I

am in a season right now where I am

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writing a book, trying to do this

podcast, still doing some divorces,

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and I wanna be a number one grandma.

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I love being grandma.

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And so that's why when my

daughter needed me, I said, yes,

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for sure I wanna come and help.

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However, I get overwhelmed with it.

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So last weekend I can tell that the

stress has been going up because

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I'm traveling back and forth between

my home and five hour trip away.

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so one night I was in bed and

I thought, okay, sometimes I

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forget to do my coaching stuff.

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So I went deep into the

feeling of overwhelm.

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And I thought, where is this coming from?

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And I grabbed onto my father and I brought

him with me and my father in heaven.

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and I looked at this overwhelm and

I felt it because we've learned that

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like right, it's not gonna hurt you.

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So I really looked at it and then I

used the pieces from my core wounds

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and I went, when was the first

time that I felt overwhelmed and.

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You guys, I have this story about, I

probably was two years old and I was lost

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in the woods and I still remember it and

I don't remember being terrified then,

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but I think the overwhelm was, where am I?

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Who's coming to help me.

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and I think that may have been, or one

time my mom dropped me in water babies.

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Now she didn't mean to

do it, but I remember it.

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And that's overwhelm and that's scary.

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And so I went back to that and I looked at

it and I go, okay, well that makes sense.

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That's the first time

you felt overwhelmed.

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And then I remembered something.

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Someone saying that when you feel

gratitude, you can't feel anxiety.

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So I thought, well, let

me think about that.

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So I was feeling overwhelmed about

having to travel a lot and lots of

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things coming up with the book writing

and all the things that are coming in

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my life, you know, lots of good things.

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And I went and I did the surrender

thing and I stayed close to my father.

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And I used gratitude and I thought about

all the prayers he had answered, and I

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thought about how there had been so many

times where I had been so worried and he

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was there and then I thought about the

times where everything worked out, even

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though maybe I was worried about finances

or how I was gonna get something done.

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He was there and it always worked.

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And I started remembering and

focusing, and the Bible tells you to

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focus on those what is pure and true.

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And when I started drawing my

focus towards that, I had peace.

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I had peace, and I'm holding onto it.

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This was two days ago.

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I'm sleeping better.

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I'm feeling peace

because I have gratitude.

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I keep remembering that the things that

I am thankful for, the things that have

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worked out, the things that God has

done for me, I'm focusing on those and

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it gives me an immense amount of peace.

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That does not mean that I am

trying to shove aside the feelings,

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the hard feelings that I had.

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I felt those, and I'm sure I'm gonna

have to go back and feel that because

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they're there and they will pop out

if you don't, because I think a lot of

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times in the past I would try to push

'em away and just focus on the gratitude.

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Stay focused on the gratitude,

along with feeling those feelings.

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I don't know.

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I'm an attorney and a grandma and a mom.

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I'm not a therapist, but I want to share

this with you because it has worked.

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For me and I have learned

it from therapists.

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So let me know if it works for you

and let me know if you have tips that

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have worked and jump on this podcast.

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Thanks so much for being here.

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You take good care.