Faith, Health, & Healing: What my Journey Through Cancer Taught me About Divorce and Other Hard Things

Lesa Koski: 00:00:01

Welcome listeners.

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I am really excited for

you to be here today.

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And this episode is going to

be a little bit different.

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I've done some of these in the

past where I don't have a guest.

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And the reason I'm doing this is because

I'm going to be hitting the road and

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going on some other friends podcasts.

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And, the world that I'm.

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And during work and prior to everything

I've been through was the divorce world.

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And interestingly enough, what I

have learned through my journey of

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the hard process of going through

the breast cancer diagnosis and the

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treatment is that I want to I want

to share with you what I learned.

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to strengthen me through the process.

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And I realized that kind of can equate to

anything hard that we're going through.

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So whether it's a divorce that you're

going through or a bad diagnosis

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or something hard with your family,

I feel like these five things that

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I strengthened Helps my wellbeing.

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And so I thought I can talk about that.

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It's not really related directly to any

specific problem, but I think what I

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learned can help you through anything.

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It helped me and is still helping me and.

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I need to say I'm a work in progress.

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I'm growing so much

still learning every day.

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And I'll share with you the things

that I still really need to work on.

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So if you have any good tips, let

me know, that's what I want to do.

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I want to help people.

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So I want to talk about these five

categories that I strengthen, and I'm

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probably going to talk about them more

and new things that I've learned along

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the way, because it's such a journey.

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So I was a little bit nervous about this.

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I always am when talking

about the breast cancer thing.

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And I've shared with my audience before,

I so am a people pleaser but I do feel

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like sharing it is going to help people.

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It's probably going to

help me in a way too.

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So here's the deal.

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I'll give you just a.

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Really quick glance at all the

things I'm going to talk about them.

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Some of them kind of overlap

and I'm going to try, I'm hoping

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that I can keep this brief.

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I'm usually pretty brief.

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But if this, if I dig longer into one

strength, This could be like a two segment

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series, but I'm going to try to get it

done in one quick little 20 minute series.

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So here's the things that helped

me through something really hard,

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which for me was the breast cancer

diagnosis and the treatment.

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And the number one thing, and

I've talked about this before, was

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strengthening my relationship with God.

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And I think that.

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What was running a mist for me and

that area was that I can, I love

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learning and I love South growth and

I love coaching and all those things

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help me, but I didn't really run them

through that tunnel of God first.

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And when you go through something hard.

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You are alone.

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Like I, and I'm going to

talk about community too.

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Like you need that community,

but you're alone and.

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When I sat there all

alone, Jesus was all I had.

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And I had such a great opportunity

to strengthen that relationship

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because he was the only one that

really knew what I was going through.

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And he was the only one that

was really there with me.

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And I'm not putting down like

my husband, my family, they

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all want it to be there for me.

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But when you're going through something

really hard, no one really understands.

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And so that kind of hit

me over the head wow.

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And it really refined me.

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And I just want you to know, so some

of the things that I did to strengthen

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that, to be able to put everything at

his feet and just stop worrying about it.

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And someday I'm going to

tell you the story about.

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What happened probably a month before

that, where I was begging for God

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to please just take away my anxiety.

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Please just let me be able to lay

everything at his feet and then boom,

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this happened and I got to learn.

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But being able to do that and

to count on him changed my life.

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And a good friend of mine

told me about the pause app.

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It's called P a U S E and.

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It really did help me.

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It helps you to restore

that relationship with God.

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It walks you through it's

biblical, it's Christian.

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It walks you through how to just give

it to him because that's all you can do.

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You really don't have a choice and

it's so freeing and so peaceful.

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And so it's just That's one of the

things that I did that has refined me.

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And another thing I think this taught

me is I am not perfect and I don't

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have to be, Peter wasn't perfect.

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Daniel wasn't no one was

perfect in the Bible.

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Jesus Yes, and we can

all work to be like him.

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We're not here to be perfect.

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We're here to work towards being closer

to God So anything that I can do, you

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know trying to read my Bible Every

day trying to sometimes it's just one

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passage whatever it is being prayful

in everything makes me feel better.

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And oh my gosh, the gratitude to be

able to see gratitude and hard things

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makes you not feel the other things.

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So don't forget that.

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So even when you're in the midst of

going through chemotherapy and you

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wake up and the sun is shining and

you go Oh my gosh, thank you, God,

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that I feel good that I can go out

for a walk that I have some time to

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rest and that I have a great prognosis

and I'm going to have a healthy life.

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There's so much to always be thankful for.

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There always is.

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So that was another thing that

gratitude was part of that.

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It was interwoven with that So I'm

talking about the strengthening

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my relationship with God then I'm

going to talk about strengthening my

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relationship with people and community

strengthening my relationship or my food

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and fasting strengthening physically.

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That's just strengthening.

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And then the last one I'm going to

talk about is strengthening rest.

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I should have said that at

the beginning, but I didn't.

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And that's how it's going to go.

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And I don't really edit.

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So sorry, but those are the things we're

going to hopefully get through all today

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oh, there's one other thing I want to

tell you about that, that I learned.

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I have been a person that

always has questions.

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Should I be doing this?

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Should I be doing that?

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What school should my kids go

to when they were growing up?

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I, my head can just go nuts and

a really good friend who I'm

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going to have on this podcast.

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podcast.

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She's amazing.

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She's the one who did my genetic test.

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She taught me this kind of meditative

tool where I sit quietly and I think

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of a time when I was feeling lots of

love and, it could be your wedding day.

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It could be the day you got engaged.

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It could be when you

held your baby in your.

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your arms or I've had one that has

to do with my animal, Charlie, my

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horse, Charlie but go to a moment

where you felt a lot of love and then

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sit in that moment, close your eyes.

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and sit in that moment and see everything

around you and feel that love again,

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feel what that felt like, and then

say, where's God, where is God here?

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And it's so interesting because

sometimes I feel like God is

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way up high looking down at me.

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And sometimes like some of them, when I'm

rocking a grandbaby thought he's right

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there, he's right there in my heart.

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Like sitting here with me and so I just

feel that and then I've got a pad of

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paper and I write dear Lisa, and I ask him

the question like God you want me to do

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divorces and then I write What I'm, what I

come up with and then I say love Jesus and

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it has been so insightful and I am someone

that could Go back and keep asking the

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same question So sometimes I just go

back and look through the journal that

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I have and I'm like, oh I did already

ask that and he did answer and I can you

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know a lot of times I'll put reasoning

behind it and it's how I came to You

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Strengthening my relationship with people.

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So when this first happened to me, it's

just like a, it slaps you in the face

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and you whoa, stop and look at your life

and you think about how you want to live.

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And I knew one of the things I

wanted to do was be a better wife.

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Cause I think I had.

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put a lot of stuff before my marriage.

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So that was one thing I learned.

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And then I also started really

thinking about how I've been

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standoffish with people.

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Like I didn't want them to know me super

well because then they might not like me

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or get really dig in and get really close.

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So I did one of these.

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Meditations, and then I came up with

do what you love in community because

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that's another thing when I talk about

strengthening my rest and rejuvenation,

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that's about fun and I lost that.

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So then I started thinking about

what things do I love to do.

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And of course I love walking.

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I love working out.

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I love horses.

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And I started adding the, oh,

and I love holding my grandbaby.

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So grandma more work less.

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So I started doing those

things that I love in community

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and it's changed in my life.

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And here's, it's so interesting and

I'm going to talk more about it when

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I get to the last subject of rest

and rejuvenation, because that's

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the thing that I'm, That has, was

missing, really missing from my life.

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I think that prior to this, I was

pretty healthy with food, pretty

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healthy with exercise, but I

was not getting my rejuvenation.

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And I think a lot of us can get

wrapped up in Thinking we have to

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be somebody and work so hard and we

forget that you have to have the fun

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to, in your life, the laughter, the

joy to bring down that stress level,

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to give your body time to recuperate.

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And God wants us to have that.

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He told us to have a day of rest.

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So it's interesting how it

all ends up being biblical.

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But I learned how to strengthen

my relationship with people.

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And I had one of the things that

I did was I had a prayer warrior

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group, and I also had family members

that I didn't have the family

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members on the prayer warrior group.

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The prayer warrior group is a group of

friends and some of them, I don't see

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a lot, but people, I want it prayers.

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And so even though a lot of

times I was super anxious.

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And I felt Oh my gosh, I'm

asking for way too much.

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They're going to think I'm nuts,

or I'm asking pray that my hair

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stays or whatever, dumb stuff.

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You think, Oh, that's dumb.

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Why am I asking for prayer?

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But I kept going back and I

kept asking them to pray for me.

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And that prayer warrior group was so

essential because I was when you're

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going through chemo, you don't really

want to be around a lot of people.

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You don't want to get sick.

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You want to be able to get through it.

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And having that.

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That's where having voice technology

and the technology that we have,

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where you don't have to actually be

in front of people in a church, but

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you can reach out to them was amazing.

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And even though I felt I'm

asking for way too much.

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I kept making myself because

I knew I needed those prayers.

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And I've said this before.

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I will never forget driving in to surgery.

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And that's when you're like going to

learn a lot and you're scared to death.

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I'm, I am I'm scared to

death of health things.

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Some people aren't, but I am.

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And it was such a dark day,

but I had a supernatural piece

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and I swear I could just.

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feel like the angels and all the

prayers riding along with me in

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the car as I went to the hospital.

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And it just it gave me strength.

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It wasn't fun.

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It was horrible, but there was a strength

there that I never would have had.

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And that was my community.

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And that community stayed with me.

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me as I went through everything

and I am forever grateful to that.

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And now I'm going to a workout class.

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I'm calling my friends

to go horseback riding.

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I'm going on walks with people.

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I'm not hiding and say, and I

would always use the excuse.

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I'm an introvert.

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I don't know that I am

really an introvert.

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I think I was just more concerned about.

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Always having to keep, always having

to be happy and bubbly and look

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perfect and not make a mistake.

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And when you can start letting

that go, I'm not going to say that

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I don't still fall prey to that.

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I do sadly.

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And it's going to be something

that I'm going to need.

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I'm going to need to keep working on that.

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God keeps showing me, I even say

this with my husband I try to

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make myself look better than I am.

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And it's that's wrong and unauthentic.

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It's not authentic and it's, you

can't, how can someone love you when

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you don't show them who you truly are?

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So those first two are big ones that I

just am looking at the clock going, Oh,

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this is going to be a two part series

because I've talked way too long about.

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God and community.

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But those are two really important things.

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And I'm just going to touch on food.

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And if you want to go back, I do have

a podcast that I did about thriving

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through breast cancer treatment.

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And I talk a little bit about

food, but I really went all in

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during my treatment because I knew

that it would help my body fight.

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It would help my body be attracted to the

chemo or the radiation to not have sugars.

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And so even though I had

always, been pretty healthy.

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There were things I was lacking.

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And if you go back and listen to that

podcast, you'll hear probably more about

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this, but I'm just going to restate.

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I think one thing that I was doing that

wasn't healthy was probably having a glass

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of wine too much, maybe five nights a week

or with dinner or when he ate something.

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Italian or steak.

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There was always a reason to unwind.

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Peanuts and wine were my favorite.

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And so through chemo, I was, I didn't

have any wine because I thought I'm

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already, I'm putting so many toxins

in, I don't want to put more because

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your body's got to work through that.

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And like I said, that past podcast,

we'll talk more about that.

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But what was so interesting was

what helped me through the chemo.

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Helps me through my everyday life.

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I have lost weight and I am, I finally,

I probably for the first time in

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my life don't care and feel good.

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I feel good at my weight and it's

been, I want to say it, it is

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simple, but It probably took me going

through this to get used to the idea

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of rarely having a glass of wine.

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I'll have a glass of wine if I go to a

winery or a nice dinner with friends.

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But now I have a sea, a sevia ginger

ale rather than a glass of wine.

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Sometimes if I'm, having something and

another thing that I learned, I'll I

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was doing a lot of fasting, but I was.

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I think I was doing it wrong.

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I was going really hard where I

would do a 48 hour or a 72 hour fast.

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And then I would jump back into

normal eating and having my wine.

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And I think it was stressful on my body.

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So what I learned is that.

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Just simply that intermittent

fasting of stop eating at six or

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seven and then reintroduce food.

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I think they want you to fast

for 16 hours and then have your

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eating window be that eight hours.

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I've been really working on,

and this is part of, I want

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to talk more about genetics.

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And I'm going to have Marie on

because I looked at my genetic makeup.

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I know what I need to eat.

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And so it is always good to have healthy

proteins, be organic as much as you can.

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For my body, I really need a lot of

vegetables and fruits because it needs

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to be able to clean my cells out.

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And I think I was probably more

focused on proteins and I think

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I was eating too many dairy.

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So I stay away from glutens and

Dairies, but I don't freak out.

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If I, if there's a little bit of

blue cheese on my salad, I eat it.

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I am careful about dressings.

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I don't use.

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The, I don't use package

stuff as much as I can.

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But like I said, if I go to a

restaurant, sometimes I'll see if they

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have oil and vinegar and sometimes

I'll get the dressing that they have.

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So I'm doing my best and I'm not be,

I'm working on not being perfect, but

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most of the time when I'm eating at

home, I'm eating lots of fruits and

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vegetables and lots of healthy proteins.

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I do eat lots of meat.

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I want to start eating more fish because.

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of my genetic makeup.

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I know that I need fish

and my husband loves it.

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I think I'm the one that

kind of shies away from it.

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So these were the things that I did.

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So the intermittent fasting is easy.

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It's not easy if you're snacking

with a glass of wine every night.

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And so there are still times,

and I did have popcorn last

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night with my ginger ale.

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When we were playing Yahtzee and

I let myself do that sometimes.

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For the most part during the week, I

do stop eating early and then I start

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a little bit later in the day and that

has brought down my inflammation and

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along with probably the gluten and the

dairy, which, we don't want inflammation

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in our body and I feel better.

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I don't ever feel.

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or, I do if I work out hard, but not stiff

and I'm on medications that could have

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really bad side effects that do that.

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And so I feel like I'm giving myself

a new life by just eating foods.

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healthy foods that are not processed.

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I love going to the co op and

grabbing some broccoli and making

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a beef vegetable soup, and I'm

having so much fun with that.

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And it really does taste good.

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And I still have dark chocolate

because it's good for me.

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And I love that cocoa in my coffee

and that has changed my life.

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I have not gained any weight.

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back.

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I've lost a lot through this.

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And I just think that

it's a better way to live.

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And so that's a blessing

of going through cancer.

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It's going to help me to be more

healthy through the rest of my life.

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And.

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Not to mention feeling better.

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So now I get to feel better and be at

the weight that I want it to be for years

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and be stronger and healthier and live a

longer life because of what I've learned.

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And like I said, I was doing it.

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But not really.

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And I think my thing was probably

mostly the wine and maybe packaged a

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little bit too many packaged foods.

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Making things from scratch

has become fun for me.

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: 00:20:20

And what's hard is I feel bad for

moms who are working all the time.

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: 00:20:26

I think about this and

you're trying to eat healthy.

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It is not easy because you

do have to put the time in.

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And now I do have more time.

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: 00:20:33

So my heart goes out to you and

I just say, do the best you can.

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And also.

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Let that be enough do the best

that you can be aware of it.

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: 00:20:43

And that's more than what you were doing

before to just know Yeah, I'm gonna I'm

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: 00:20:48

gonna choose this over this so and I do

want to go in and talk about food more and

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: 00:20:54

then the last things that we're gonna talk

about which I don't have time for because

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I blabbed on and on and I Feel like this

was it was fun, but I feel like I maybe

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: 00:21:04

went off on tangent, so I apologize.

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: 00:21:06

These are a little bit hard to do, but

it, and it is also fun because I feel

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like I'm sitting down having a cup of

coffee with my friends, which I love.

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: 00:21:14

And so we're going to stop there.

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: 00:21:16

We're going to stop at

strengthening your relationship

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: 00:21:19

with God, with people, with food.

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: 00:21:21

And then I'm going to do

another one next week.

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: 00:21:25

And I'm just going to talk about

physical strengthening and how, what

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: 00:21:29

I've learned about exercise and health.

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: 00:21:32

And then probably the most important thing

that I still need to learn more about is

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: 00:21:39

rest and rejuvenation, strengthening that.

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: 00:21:42

And I'm going to talk a little

bit about What I've been doing.

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: 00:21:46

I'm still not there.

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: 00:21:47

But of course we're going to

talk about a little bit about

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: 00:21:49

the fun again and breath work.

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: 00:21:52

So that'll be coming up next week.

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: 00:21:55

So this is a two part series, but

I really appreciate you being here.

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: 00:21:59

And.

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: 00:22:00

If there's something that you would

like me to explore or someone that you

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: 00:22:04

think is amazing that I should have on

as a guest, I've got a couple coming up.

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: 00:22:09

I'm doing a couple new

recordings on Thursday.

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: 00:22:12

But anyone that you can think of that

you think would be amazing on saddle

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: 00:22:16

up live, I would love to have them.

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: 00:22:19

And I'm so grateful that you're here.

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: 00:22:21

And I'm just so grateful for my life

and the sun is shining, and this

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: 00:22:24

has been the most beautiful fall.

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: 00:22:26

And I joke about, we were at a At an

apple orchard with my grandkids and

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: 00:22:31

my son, Jack is like, it is so hot.

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: 00:22:33

It doesn't even feel like we

are like, this is fall stuff.

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: 00:22:36

And I'm like that's because

God's giving me a little summer.

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: 00:22:39

Cause I didn't have one.

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: 00:22:40

So I feel like I'm getting

the best of both worlds.

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: 00:22:43

We're getting a little cool weather

rolling in, but I just say, God bless you.

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Thank you for listening.

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And I will be back next week

with those last two things that

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: 00:22:52

we can work on to strengthen.

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: 00:22:53

Take good care.